Piranha flew all the way here, to my house, just to tell me how much he and his wifeÂ enjoyed the lovely box of chocolates I arranged to be sent to his hotel shortly after the news of the devastating earthquake made it clear that he, Piranha, would need to change his name back to Virgil. Â He needed a lawyer and some pants.
For some reason, I thought he needed pants.
The flight to my home was extravagant and unnecessary seeing as we lived only two floorsÂ away from one another. Â But if you’re going to fly completely around the world (plus two floors), Piranha (who should change his name back Â to Vernon) knew how to do it up right. Â Of course he did. Â The man loved blimps.
I just realized something: Â I think I sent him a box of socks, not chocolates. Â Did he eat the socks? That bothers me.
Anyway, he flew his blimp around the world to thank me for the socks. Â Vim-vap-vip was kind that way. Â He should change his name to something less stupid-sounding. Â The next time I fuck his wife, I’ll mention it. Â Tactfully, of course.
Text and Images Â© Andrew Auten – All Rights Reserved